What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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