His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
tell me about the eggs
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
