we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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