How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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