Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
