ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
