I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
