And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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