Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
