I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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