The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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