we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
