But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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