i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I AM VODKA MAN
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My dick has a subreddit
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
