my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
