I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
