that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
