Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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