I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
