No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
