oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Randomize
