im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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