You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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