Duck Duck Cougar?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
His nipple licking is glorious
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