ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
