I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My vagina is officially offended.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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