wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
