I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
