You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
