you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
