I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
