You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
