So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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