if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
