i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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