There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize