My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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