I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
