i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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