I hope mine doesn't look like that
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You may now shotgun with the bride
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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