So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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