He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
