morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
