He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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