Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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