when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
