No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
