He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
