Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
