Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Randomize
