Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I had to cum in my sink.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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