Buhtt sex?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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