his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
