Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
