Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
